Listening to the Varsity Office Playlist is a test of my emotional stability. I am first serenaded by Nick Drake, lulled into a false sense of security by “Things Behind The Sun” before being smacked over the head by Skepta’s “Greaze Mode”. The rest of the listening experience follows this sort of trend, with my ears ricocheting between Hip-Hop bangers, 80s Indie classics, wistful guitar ballads and the occasional Rock anthem.

I am somewhat worried about whether my headphones can cope with the breadth of material they’re being subjected to, or whether they will simply tear apart in despair as shuffle subjects me to yet another Taylor Swift track. I look with apprehension as Herbie Hancock follows the Arctic Monkeys in the queue.

“I don’t really know what does go on in the Varsity office. I imagine a lot of changing font sizes”

I’m slowly getting to understand the musical niches and personalities of each Editor, with one contributor responsible for seven Kate Bush tracks, five Taylor Swift songs, and three Paramore tracks. I feel like they’d enjoy going to Lolas.

Putting the playlist on shuffle does reveal some fantastic songs in this list. I’m impressed with the love for Marvin Gaye, Erykah Badu, some fantastic Little Simz tracks, HAIM and The Cure. I can imagine myself contently playing around with some Word documents to Gaye’s “What’s Going On”. I don’t really know what does go on in the Varsity office. I imagine a lot of changing font sizes.

I am also exposed to some fantastic new songs. “Virtual Insanity” by Jamiroquai was added instantly to a playlist of mine. I also enjoyed the jangling guitars and Big Thief-esque vocals of The Sundays — with a sound like that of The Smiths if Morrissey decided to graciously abdicate as vocalist to be replaced by Adrianne Lenker.

“I imagine it was a rough Valentine’s Day in Varsity HQ”

It’s also nice to be reintroduced to some songs I’d largely forgotten about. A year 8 favourite of mine, Alex Turner’s, “Stuck On The Puzzle” is still surprisingly good. Moby’s “Porcelain” is also still furiously joyous, a brief respite from heartbreak ballad after heartbreak ballad everywhere else on the playlist. There is an overwhelming presence of depressing music in this list. I want to know who broke the Editor responsible for the multiple Radiohead tracks, “Hurt” by Arlo Parks, along with “Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone” and “The Isle Of Arran” by Loyle Carner. Are you OK? I imagine it was a rough Valentine’s Day in Varsity HQ. I’m not massively surprised.

There are definitely some odd additions here. As much as I love Kendrick Lamar’s “Sing About Me, I’m Dying of Thirst”, I’m not sure whether a twelve-minute track depicting Kendrick’s spiritual rebirth as he laments the premature deaths of friends is the right vibe for an office environment. Similarly, whoever allowed the Friends theme song to feature here, what is wrong with you?

Listening to this playlist is like diving headfirst into the middle aisle in Aldi. I’m slightly bruised, fairly emotionally distressed, and found the equivalent of a value supermarket toaster in the form of several songs I’ll probably listen to for a week and then get bored of. I am possibly being harsh. I may have had this playlist on repeat since it got sent to me. Please don’t tell my Editor.