The disparity between lack of skill required and the quality of the finished dessert is almost criminal. Summer is over but bask in its memory with this recipe.

Prep tme: 30 mins + setting time

Serves: 5 greedy people (or about 8 with self-control)

For the base:

• 200g digestive biscuits
• 100g soft butter

For the topping:

• 300g tub of cream cheese
• 200ml carton of double cream
• 1 cup icing sugar
• Juice of 1 lemon (or a vanilla pod if you enjoy throwing money down the drain)
• Berries of choice (most are out of season so frozen are a good alternative)

1. Put the digestives in a plastic bag and release your pent-up frustration by smashing them with a rolling pin.

2. Melt the butter in the microwave for 30 second intervals until its runny. Mix the crumbs and butter together to form a sandy paste.

3. Flatten the mixture out at the bottom of a cake tin. If you’re not so well-equipped in the culinary departnment, use a flat plate and line its circumference with a cardboard. Put this in the fridge until it’s hard and cool.

4. Beat the cream until it’s thick enough to hold its shape. This exercise warrants your guilt-free enjoyment of the final product.

5. Beat in the packet of cream cheese until the mixture is smooth.

6. Add the icing sugar and lemon juice/vanilla pod. Use up your last bit of elbow grease to carry on beating it until the consistency is smooth and dense.

7. Pour the topping onto the base and spread evenly. Leave it to set in the freezer for about 4 hours or for about half a day in the fridge (it’ll be worth the wait).

8. Decorate with berries, but beware of the juice which could permeate through it and cause collapse. If any “friends” turn their nose up at this, just keep their portion for yourself.