"Love rap music, tired of defending it." Wise words from Chris Rock that ring true for anyone championing modern pornography.

Thanks to the Internet the face of sexual entertainment no longer resembles the porn that your grandmother showed you. Tubby chaps with ponytails and silicone devotees have as much right to work as a tattooed 'Suicide Girl', but the mainstream look homogenized the scene and it's still unusual for YouPorn to deviate from the plastic fantastic. Here is where anti-porn campaigners forget the relevance of Sturgeon's Law: personal tastes aside, 90% of porn is crap but 90% of everything is crap. In kitsch amateur shoots and haut couture productions the skinny, the fat and the fabulous are kicking up their heels on websites that address consumer concerns, with information that is missing from sites that stream content from who knows where. There are even 'normal' people involved, but there is demand for smart porn with a real orgasm at the end that caters for heterosexuals and the LBGT crowd. When porn celebrates gender, sexuality and the human body it becomes the greatest anthem for sexual positivity since Victoria Wood sang 'beat me on the bottom with a Woman's Weekly'.

Sometimes the industry shoots itself in the foot. Being 'edgy' doesn't necessarily make you ethical and the music is still terrible, but there are groups of men and women who want to produce work that is more inclusive and encouraging than your average beauty magazine.

Respondents to the Varsity survey worry that porn encourages unprotected sex. Condoms rarely appear in romcoms but we enjoy them as fantasies. These are the transferable skills required to appreciate that pornographers are also exceptional. Their income depends on their health and they are required to be sexual Olympians. Performers have AIM tests, contracts, good lighting, and even the amateurs will edit out reality. Encouraging this awareness amongst young people inspires them to think critically about porn, and compare it to their own lives with some common sense.

Porn is rarely intended as educational, and some things shouldn't be replicated. Not because it's degrading, but because your left leg will cramp and some of that equipment you're seeing is jolly expensive. Hats off to those who are bendy and willing, but if you lack enthusiasm for a 'porn inspired' activity that your partner suggested, I recommend that you have a conversation and communicate like adults. My condolences. Escaping reality does have its benefits because fantasy creates sanctuary. Susan may desire a foursome, but balks at the hassle of setting up a Facebook group that always ends in tears. Julian longs for a bondage session, but he soon learns that without practice he should leave the fisherman's hitch knot to cub scouts and professionals. Some worry that porn is degrading but aren't specific. Are blowjobs degrading? Anal? Does reciting Mary Wollstonecraft at an orgy balance things out? People are entitled to define what is empowering and degrading for themselves, but anti-porn groups find it difficult to accept that some women take pleasure in activities that won't suit everyone. Arguably, the more extreme acts demand an intense sensitivity to the trust and communication that should be present in every sexual experience.

Men and women are exploited in all fields, and to stop this we need to prosecute vigorously and give people the means to speak up. Banning the textiles industry won't eliminate sweatshops, and ghettoizing sex workers endangers lives. Porn stars belong to an ecosystem where reputations spread fast, and exploitation isn't good business. Drug use wastes money when you require lucid people to perform sexual pyrotechnics, and coercion, though generally frowned upon, is also unnecessary when there are daily queues of the willing and able. Sex work is a job, and like any job it can be tedious and unglamorous. In the face of reactionary groups there is pressure on performers to pretend every aspect of their work is fantastic, and thus we run the risk of whitewashing an industry that still has problems.

Porno politics involve everyone regardless of their bandwidth expenditure. Mary Anne Layden, professor of sociology and women's studies at Wheelock College in Boston stated that "the more pornography women use, the more likely they are to be victims of non-consensual sex"; a resounding cry told her to keep her fear tactics to herself. Last year, the Australian Classification Board tried to ban pornography featuring women smaller than an A cup, and every newspaper is programmed to an annual hullabaloo over women 'infantilizing' themselves if they decide to shave. When people push these attitudes upon others, they insinuate that the only difference between a woman and a child is her bra size and pubic topiary. Her mind and her right to her own sexual agency barely figures. If anything, graphic porn teaches us that a mature and aroused vulva bears no relation to the images that interest pedophiles. There is no feminist body type. Waxing or not waxing is not a political statement, but a matter of what suits you and what feels good without The Guardian's anti-porn agenda getting into your knickers.

This freedom of thinking doesn't just make us smart consumers, it prevents us from sleep-walking through our sex lives and encourages us to speak up the next time we're confronted with queer bashing, 'slut' shaming and rape apologists.  Those of us who are giving it away for free can learn a lot from modern porn. It can nurture a sense of self that tabloid hysterics seek to knock out of us. After all, it's a harder task to sell shame and fear to the sexually educated.

If you want to read more, take a look at these websites:

http://www.scarleteen.com: an independent, grassroots sexuality education and support organization and website

http://www.ourpornourselves.org: 'Our Porn, Ourselves' a resource that aims to create an alternative and constructive conversation on the use of pornography by women, and in turn offer balance to the anti-porn feminist agenda.