Here we are again, exploring the depths of the Netflix archives. Sit yourselves down and buckle up for the fun of Pegasus vs Chimera: you’d be safer than the actors were on that flying horse, no buckling was done there.

Pegasus vs Chimera was a film made for TV in 2012 yet, aside from the CGI beasts, you could be forgiven for assuming it was much older. The CGI itself was not bad, it just didn’t fit with the rest of the film, obviously fake against the drab background of the live action. The other effects were even more disappointing, with unbelievable magic apparitions and disproportionate amounts of blood for the relative injuries obtained. On that note, the fight scenes were in desperate want of a choreographer, or at least a little more gusto. The characters’ swords barely made contact with each other, yet the combatants come out awfully bloodied – some simply died without actually being stabbed. Equally, the chimera managed to utterly dismember its victims with a flick of its horns. Oh, and dead bodies either completely disappeared or ended up in a state that would be physically impossible.

“Pegasus is meant to be a majestic winged beast from the heavens, but, as Belleros says, ‘it’s just a horse’. Seriously, it’s just a white horse”

Chimera’s opponent, Pegasus, is meant to be a majestic winged beast from the heavens, but, as Belleros says, “it’s just a horse”. Seriously, it’s just a white horse, which magically acquires wings and armour. They even use the same shot of its hooves hitting the ground every time it transforms back into the said horse. It’s a good job every fight scene took place in equally indistinct clearings.

One of the (many) peculiarities of the film is the fact that nobody ever changes their clothes. Belleros appeared to be the only character who aged. What’s more, it’s into somebody who looks nothing like his younger self. To be fair, this lack of ageing was explained – by magic, no less – but the lack of laundering wasn’t. Equally questionable was the outfit choices: the only aspect of the film that remotely evoked Ancient Greece were the particularly short togas, although, to quote my friend: “a white dress in a forest environment is a mistake” regarding Princess Philony’s outfit.

Unknown Displeasures: Spellbinder

Honestly, the best shot of the entire film was a wide angle of a waterfall, without any of the characters or beasts involved. It lasted a whole three seconds, which is coincidentally how long it took for Belleros to cut himself free from the ropes which detained him several hours before. Nothing about this film makes sense, least of all the strange feeling that the sound and action were recorded separately and then laid over each other. As well as having oddly disembodied voices, the characters seem to have the ability to teleport within milliseconds. If you ever need an example of poor continuity, watch this film.

In fact, if you ever need a giggle at the expense of a cohort of poor actors and even more poor production, or if you want to feel like somebody else was also rushed towards a deadline to produce something wholly ineffective, this one’s for you. Otherwise, don’t bother.