Tesco Everyday Value. ASDA Smartprice. Even the infamous Waitrose ‘Essentials’ (including such key products as scented ironing water and limoncello mousse). Every supermarket has its own budget range uniquely branded with its own distinct font.

For the typical Cambridge student, the Sainsbury’s Basics range is by far the most recognisable of these, in no small part thanks to the offensive shade of orange it’s decked in. It is a colour scheme I’m going to need to learn to love, as for one whole week I have embarked on a quest to live on a diet of only Sainsbury’s Basics. Yes, you read correctly – such a challenge may have never been attempted before. Who knows if I’ll turn orange, or even if I’ll survive – so read on (spoiler alert: I do both).

My neighbour is horrified – having grown up in a strictly Marks and Spencer’s household, which occasionally stretches itself to the luxuries of Waitrose, this presents an entirely new world for her. In a slightly quivering voice she asks me whether I’m sure that I know what I’m getting myself into. I am sure – with Sainsbury’s so much cheaper, more accessible and ultimately just not that different, I am determined to win her round, so on Monday I set out shopping.

Many of the products are already familiar to me – the custard creams, English muffins (70p, an identical packet of just Sainsbury’s ones are 90p) and bananas slip easily into my basket. My Percy Pigs habit is replaced with some slightly soggy looking Midget Gems for 50p, the only sweets available in the range, but oh well.

The Basics slogans are there to keep me entertained – from the ironic and surprisingly self-aware “creamy and cheesy” cream cheese (who knew dairy could be so meta?) to the apologetic “light and lovely, just a little less chocolatey” chocolate mousse – the marketing team behind the Basics Range are clearly willing not to take their products too seriously, and kudos for that. There are even gentle attempts at puns, “simple recipe for a lot less dough” reads the packaging on one loaf of bread. And so the shopping continues – my eyes ignoring anything with non-orange packaging or a price more than a few pounds until my basket is full.

At first, I can honestly tell you that I didn’t notice any difference. I toast a crumpet for breakfast (covered in butter), and a packet of Basics crisps fill my 4pm hunger dip (can you go that wrong with crisps?) There is definitely something kind of tragic about the white and orange crisp packet, but there’s also something kind of tragic about how quick I am to assume something needs to be branded in familiar garish colours to be tasty. Everything is tragic really.

A picnic style lunch of a Scotch egg with a clementine, mini apple pie and blackcurrant squash gives the atmosphere of a primary school trip. But school trips are fun. For dinner, it is time to actually have some hot food. I feel I should give one of the basics ready meals a go, but my lack of an oven drastically diminishes my choices to four types of mash-topped pies or multiple mystery lasagnes. Hmph.

Instead I turn to my unnecessarily large jar of tomato sauce, shrink wrapped cheddar and mysteriously labelled “pasta shapes” (which turns out simply to be penne… why not just say penne?) to whip up a student classic.

It doesn’t taste any the worse for being made up of only Basics products – the only difference so far has been price. Day one– still alive and not yet orange.

For day two I take it up a step and put on my baking mitts. I make rocky road using dark and white chocolate, butter and dried fruit, all sourced from the Basics range, naturally. Admittedly, it lacked the satisfying squidginess that a generous dollop of Tate and Lyle golden syrup in the mixture normally provides. Nevertheless, it proves to be pretty addictive and its presence in my mini fridge next to my desk makes concentrating on essay writing even more of a challenge then usual.

It even goes down well with M&S friend (although I don’t think she entirely realised that it was made from Basics-only ingredients). I had bought the Basics feta, always one of my staples for an easy couscous lunch (so Cambridge), but realise that the Basics range doesn’t stretch that far. Instead, I make a simple meatball soup using the pre-chopped mixed vegetables, tinned (well, boxed actually) tomatoes and minced beef.

I have definitely found that sticking to fresh foods, or at least foods with minimal extra processing, is the way to go when shopping on a budget range. The differences in taste is normally negligible, and you actually know what you’re putting in your digestive system. Meat and eggs, however, are the one area that I find it worth spending that little bit more.

As the week goes on I am beginning to miss my branded staples – Philadelphia for bagels, proper Heinz ketchup, Kellogg’s Crunchy Nut instead of dusty “More flakes than fruit” Basics fruit and fibre cereal. I notice the peculiar omissions of the range, despite its surprising size of over 500 products: Basics tonic water to accompany the “no fancy packaging, just gin” only comes in diet, there are 22 types of Sainsbury’s breaded chicken but none are Basics and the fruit and veg included in the collection is sporadic.

The slogan on the Basics cat litter really sums up the range: “does the job”. You are never going to be able to knock up Michelin star meals purely from this range and it is unlikely to blow your taste buds out of this world. By the end of the week I have found new favourites (hello Basics chocolate mousse, six for 40p) and definitely saved money (albeit earning far fewer Nectar points). Even M&S friend seems sort of convinced.

Despite my new appreciation for shopping on a Basics budget, I have to admit that I am definitely looking forward to escaping its confines and returning to the culinary gratification that can only really be found by those instantly recognisable branded products. When it comes to my stomach, I am afraid to admit that the multinational corporations have won.

On returning from a gin-fuelled Sunday Life night out, I find the Basics tortilla chips and jaffa cakes waiting for me to make the perfect 3am snack and give me the energy I’ll need overnight to nurture my body back to good health for the morning. And with the smell of tortilla chips on my breath, my week
living the orange high life has come to an end.