PART III R - Z

Rowers Even if you can’t stand the odour of sweaty rowers in their one pieces at Sunday brunch, think of it this way: where else can you get as much gossip from as post-Boat Club Dinner antics? The more advanced among the rower species go beyond providing gossip: find an excuse to pass the Goldie boathouse early enough in the morning, and you will be treated to sweaty, half-naked, muscley men erging away to pump-up music. Who needs pin-up boys in the room anymore?

Supervisions You have to be at least a teeny bit of a masochist to be at Cambridge. Why else would you put yourself through countless all nighters, too little sleep, and the yearly purgatory that is exam term? But, as they say in the University prospectus, the key to Cambridge life is supervisions – discussing your ideas with world class academics (i.e. having your essays torn apart by your supervisor), engaging in intellectual arguments with your peers (i.e. trying desperately to outshine your supervision partner), and gaining important transferable skills such as learning to think on your feet (i.e. coming up with something to say when you haven’t read the articles and your lecture notes are blurred by Cindies the night before). Yes, we all miss the masochism of your degree.

                     The A to Z of missing Cambridge: Part 1

Tourists Yes, they block your way into college, they take up your allocated space on the pavements, and you’ve probably run over one or two on your bike – ah, tourists. But then again, where outside Cambridge will you end up in strangers’ photo albums donning your gown? And how popular a tourist attraction is your home compared to your historical (read: drafty, small, and creaky) Cambridge room?

UL Try finding a big enough locker for your bags that actually locks, fitting all your possessions into a see-through plastic bag, managing the shelving system that escapes all understanding, and handing over your books to be re-checked at the exit without spilling the contents of said plastic bag all over the reception: et voilà, you have done away with a good chunk of your day! You may hate it in hectic term time, but when you don’t know what to do with your day, the UL really is the perfect solution.

Vacation Like the UL, the notion of ‘vacation, not holiday’ is another Cambridge creation to protect you from the dangers of boredom. Wondering what to do next on your hike through South-East Asia? Worry not, the hundred-page reading list (and that’s just for one paper) is there to keep you occupied at all times!

Wine Cambridge is one of those places where anything serves as an excuse for a glass of wine (or port or sparkling elderflower). Pre-formal drinks? Lunch drinks? Welcome drinks? Society drinks? Subject drinks? Supervision drinks? (yes, I envy you with particularly nice supervisors!) Cambridge is guaranteed to keep you well hydrated.

                       The A to Z of missing Cambridge: Part 2

X5 It’s long and it’s hard. I’m talking the X5 experience here; I mean, why would anyone want to have a direct train link to the Other Place, the source of all evil? Surviving the coach ride – and especially managing to return in one piece – is something to brag about, that people outside Cambridge don’t really get.

Y? Why am I in the library on a Saturday night? Why am I writing four essays a week when I could’ve chosen a course elsewhere with the same number of deadlines a term? Why do I add to the torture and captain my rowing team, chief-edit one or two of the student newspapers and take on the duties of weekly emails in my role as JCR secretary? You just don’t get as puzzled at your own life when away from Cambridge, do you?

Zzzzzzz… Going without sleep, whether it be for intellectual or clubbing purposes. As I said, there’s a wee masochist in every Cambridge student.