There are many things from this election campaign that I will remember: the perplexity at the Tory majority, the uproar in Fitzwilliam College at my campaigning for the Labour Party, the influence of Facebook and the bacon sandwich fiasco.

But there is one thing in particular that I will never forget: the look on the faces of Simon Hughes, Vince Cable and Ed Balls as they realised that their political careers had come to a juddering halt.

They looked forlorn, defeated and broken. We gave them a chance and they messed it up, so we sent them packing, waved them off and, allegedly, ruined their careers.

This, they say, is democratic accountability. This, I say, is a fig leaf.

It is true that they probably won’t appear on Prime Minister’s Questions again. They won’t sit in on Cabinet meetings. And they’ll probably never knock on your door again, unless Vince Cable turns to Jehovah in his darkest political hour. Yet, now they’ve had their time to shine – or fail – in politics, there’s a whole world out there waiting for them to take advantage of.

They’ll probably write books about their careers and fall from grace – some will be bestsellers, some will gather dust on the shelves. Some will go into journalism, law, managing consultancy or real estate. Whatever they chose to go into, a vast network of people will be happy to pick them up whilst they’re down and out.

Those Good Sanitarians will usually be ex-politicians themselves, who were lobbed out of the Commons by our disapproval, or editors at the national papers. Alternatively, they’ll return to their job before politics.

They will have a job in not very long – a good job.

We need only delve into the history books to find out exactly what our failed politicians have gone on to do. After illegally invading Iraq and bringing about some of the worst bloodshed in history, Tony Blair went on to act as a senior advisor to JPMorgan. Conflicted, and perhaps nostalgic, Blair went onto work in improving diplomacy in the Middle East. There is even speculation that Blair will run for President of the European Council. From a law degree at Oxford to Prime Minister to JPMorgan – a few hiccups along the way, indeed, but a pretty smooth ride to success.

Blair will recall from his law degree that, if you are sent to prison, your job prospects in the world of work are dire. You’d be lucky to get a newspaper round. Yet, after spending time in Her Majesty’s for perverting the course of justice, Chris Huhne has landed himself a managerial position at Zilkha Biomass Energy, a European giant. 

Can we really say that we are holding them to account? When you or I do something wrong, we are punished by the law – we are sent to prison, or made to sweep the streets or pay a fine. Whatever it is, we’ll have a red mark against our name for the rest of our lives.

In stark contrast, Vince Cable and Ed Balls will come out of this relatively unscathed. Sure, their egos have been battered and bruised, but when they’re ready, they’ll likely go and do something which you and I could only dream of doing.

Ed Balls won’t be on the dole, nor will he be on a zero-hours contract. The truth is, these ousted politicians will be writing the newspaper columns that will make or break the European referendum or the repeal of the Human Rights Act. As Amy Winehouse would put it, “they tried to make me go to rehab, but I said no, no, no”. We tell them to sod off, but they say “no, no, no”. That’s when it all becomes clear: my vote is as good as yours. And your vote is pointless.