For most unsuspecting sixth-formers, the word ‘Cambridge’ conjures ideas of academic prestige, intellectual stimulation, and unparallelled teaching; basically all the meaningless buzzwords the University fires at prospective applicants in order to tempt them into applying. School students are assured they will have ample time to engage in rewarding extra-curricular activities and socialise with like-minded people, all the while completing their academic work to a high standard. Ha.

Before setting foot in this place, I had vague notions of time spent leisurely punting along the Cam, consuming vast quantities of wine and reading the (occasional) book. Sadly, I had no idea what I was letting myself in for – such illusions were well and truly shattered by the end of Michaelmas Week One.

There is obviously the crippling workload, not to mention the appalling nightlife and routine humiliation in supervisions. However, to be perfectly honest, the thing which has shocked and surprised me the most is the nepotism.

It’s everywhere. Literally everywhere. Whether it’s a committee, the Union, or the ADC, you will undoubtedly find a friend who can put in a good word for you. Then, of course, there is a host of tantalising opportunities dangling in front of the newly graduated Cantab, if they choose to avail themselves. GradLink, anyone? And I know I should be thoroughly against such shameful old-school preferential treatment, I do. But, to be perfectly honest, I’m quite enjoying it.

“Were I studying at another university, I would most likely condemn the never-ending Oxbridge nepotism cycle”

It’s rather nice to be invited to free drinks with prospective future employers, receive subsidies and funding for trips, and meet the occasional famous person. It’s also the sort of treatment to which you can grow accustomed very quickly. This is of course a reality for Cambridge students, but worlds away from the experience of most people.

Had I made sound financial choices in my naïve and not-so-distant youth, I would most probably be studying in Scotland right now. My sanity would still be intact and I would be able to chug cheap alcohol on a regular basis, without a care in the world. I would be free from the crippling guilt all Cambridge students must suffer, when not spending all waking (and sleeping) hours working.

Of course, there’s traditionally recognised nepotism, when Hugo is looking for a comfy desk job complete with a six-figure salary, and is chosen over better-qualified applicants, simply because he’s a ‘good chap’. This behaviour is clearly unacceptable.

However, I do think there is a case to be made for nepotism in certain situations (hardly surprising that I say this, given that I am on the receiving end), for example, informing a friend about a vacant position because you know they are well-qualified and will do a good job. This raises another serious issue in itself. Due to the cyclical nature of nepotism, the same dull people always end up with the same dull jobs. Even if they are young and bright-eyed to begin with, this doesn’t last long. New blood quickly becomes old blood and any ideas that were vaguely fresh are soon stale. Were I studying at another university, I would most likely condemn the never-ending Oxbridge nepotism cycle. Would the desire to voice such thoughts be motivated by outrage at social injustice, or unashamed jealousy? I’m afraid I do not know. Be honest, you probably don’t either.

Nepotism: The theatrical elephant in the room?

However, I do think there is a solution to this problem. We should take advantage of the opportunities which the University offers us – and be grateful for them – but retain a sense of who we are, and how we got here. Many of us have fought for the right to receive this education: it would be pointless to refuse such help, purely based on principle. As long as we know that we’re doing it for the right reasons, and not for the gratification of a merciless and mercenary establishment, then we can sleep easy. Unfortunately, this process has already begun for most of us. From the moment we step through the metaphorical gates of this ‘institution of excellence’ (CU Prospectus, 2018) we are prodded, pinched and poked until we fit into the Cambridge mould, produce the perfect essays and become the ideal job applicants. Those who are brave enough to resist this treatment often end up ostracised from the bubble, intermitting or dropping out. It is a cold and thankless system. In this respect, it would be easy to argue that we are submitted to nepotism involuntarily, without giving our consent. Any creativity we once had is sacrificed for the sake of conformity to the Cambridge model. It is ironic, given that the quality which the University values most in its applicants is ‘independent thinking’. Cambridge has become a single overbearing, pushy parent, demanding that we achieve, achieve, achieve and offering no care or support in return. Ostensibly, there is no room for those who want to make their own way in the world, propelled solely by their own passion and enthusiasm