This year I’ve spoken to many hopeful Cambridge singles about their experiences with Varsity’s Blind Date. The majority of these dates – to no fault of my own matchmaking skills, I’m sure – have ended, or even started, in the friend zone. Although there have been no disasters (the worst case being two exes who were sent on a date together and actually ended up having a lovely evening), there is no denying that so far Blind Date has been largely unsuccessful in its sole aim: it seems that the students of Cambridge are still no closer to finding love. So, in a final attempt to instil some hope in the masses, I asked eight Cantabs who are in long term relationships to shed some light on how to maintain a lasting love while simultaneously enduring the perils of university. If you, like me, are tired of only hearing about the horrors of modern-day dating, hopefully this article has the restorative power to make you feel that little bit more positive about the summer of love ahead.
Couple one
How long have you been together?
Since October
How did you meet?
We knew of each other before, but we met when he was working at a May Ball (a great 20 second conversation).
Where did you go on your first date?
We had our first date over the summer, so we went for a drive and then got lunch (and then I missed my original train home).
Do you think there are any common misconceptions about dating in Cambridge?
That it’s incompatible with working hard/doing well in your degree, and that there’s nobody ‘dateable’ in Cambridge.
What’s your favourite thing about your partner?
Definitely how supportive he is, he’s always first to read my article drafts and come to my events.
What’s the secret to maintaining a happy relationship whilst being at university?
Having both productive and unproductive time together – working in a library together so we get to see each other but making sure that’s not the only time you see each other. But also communicating, like any other relationship – especially if you’re feeling stressed with work.
Describe your time at uni together in three words.
Fun, supportive, trusting.
“You can be in a happy relationship and still have to overcome unhappy things”
Couple two
How long have you been together?
A year and a half.
How did you meet?
On Hinge.
Where did you go on your first date?
Pho.
Do you think there are any common misconceptions about dating in Cambridge?
That it’s impossible. We know more people that are dating/have dated than not! We think people are just very dramatic about not being in long term relationships…
What’s your favourite thing about your partner?
When the pressure of Cambridge/life in general/long distance comes to the forefront, we’re both really good at rationalising that the most important thing is that we love each other, and we can usually fix most problems by just reminding ourselves of how important that love is.
What’s the secret to maintaining a happy relationship whilst being at university?
Our secret is that you can be in a happy relationship and still have to overcome unhappy things – like, uni sucks, and other stuff in life is gonna suck! I think people falter at the first sign of trouble, but you have to know that being stressed about other things and feeling unhappy doesn’t negate the joy of a relationship. It’s just harder to feel overall happiness for short term periods, but short term pain = long term gain.
Describe your time at uni together in three words.
Comfortable, understanding, romantic.
Couple three
How long have you been together?
1 year and 9 months.
How did you meet?
We met at a social in the first few weeks of our first term, being in neighbouring staircases, and started off as friends after that.
Where did you go on your first date?
Somewhat hilariously, he was interrailing in the summer of our first year and invited me to stay with him in Vienna… I suppose you could say that our first date lasted four days!
Do you think there are any common misconceptions about dating in Cambridge?
There is a common misconception that ‘college-cest’ doesn’t work, but I think we’re testament to the fact that it can, as long as you maintain healthy boundaries. But then again, we have escaped the impact of a messy break-up so far.
What’s your favourite thing about your partner?
Mine: The way he sees the world. Or his hair.
His: Her openness.
What’s the secret to maintaining a happy relationship whilst being at university?
If you agree to read each other’s dissertations, maintain very clear boundaries about the level of brutality you want from the other person.
Describe your time at uni together in three words.
Fun, enriching, intellectual.
“College-cest isn’t that bad, although it does require some strict boundary-setting”
Couple four
How long have you been together?
18 months.
How did you meet?
We’re at the same college, and were vaguely friends throughout first year, but she had a boyfriend… until she didn’t (I promise I didn’t kill him).
Where did you go on your first date?
We went to Kettle’s Yard. It’s one of my favourite spots in Cambridge and she had never been; it is now a regular date spot and I often buy her prints from the shop for birthdays and the like.
Do you think there are any common misconceptions about dating in Cambridge?
College-cest isn’t that bad, although it does require some strict boundary-setting to ensure you’re not living in each other’s pockets.
What’s your favourite thing about your partner?
Hers: He is unflinchingly understanding (and trust me, I don’t make it easy for him).
His: The way her eyes light up when she’s in an engaging conversation.
What’s the secret to maintaining a happy relationship whilst being at university?
Having hobbies and making a real effort of being your own people outside of the relationship.
Describe your time at uni together in three words.
Expansive. Expensive. Warm.
Couple five
How long have you been together?
One year and three months.
How did you meet?
We met at the Union Freshers’ Ball, which is pretty cool because we can tell people we met at a ball. The Union Freshers’ Ball, sure, but a ball is a ball.
Where did you go on your first date?
The Punter.
Do you think there are any common misconceptions about dating in Cambridge?
Yes (we have not had sex in the UL).
What’s your favourite thing about your partner?
His: She’s incredibly kind, thoughtful and cares about others. She makes me want to be a better person.
Hers: He’s got an excellent sense of humour, and never fails to make me laugh (even in inappropriate situations).
What’s the secret to maintaining a happy relationship whilst being at university?
Prioritise kindness. If you’re both at Cambridge you’ll both undoubtedly be going through a lot.
Describe your time at uni together in three words.
Live, laugh, love.
Couple six
How long have you been together?
18 months.
How did you meet?
We’re at the same college, and actually lived in the same flat in first year (oops). So we met on the day we moved in! It turns out both of us had said we fancied the other to our home friends, based off the WhatsApp profile pictures in the freshers group chat. So we chatted before getting to Cambridge, and then spent a lot of time together during the first couple of weeks.
Where did you go on your first date?
We went to Bills – classic place, but cute and affordable.
Do you think there are any common misconceptions about dating in Cambridge?
I think people can get sucked into worrying about where they meet a partner, like not wanting to date someone in the same college/course, or, like me, flat. If you meet someone you like, it’s best to go for it, and if it ends life goes on, it doesn’t need to be awkward. on the other hand, they could be your soulmate!
What’s your favourite thing about your partner?
I love how hard-working he is, and how dedicated he is to doing a perfect job in anything he takes on. It definitely encourages me to not procrastinate, so he’s helped me too!
What’s the secret to maintaining a happy relationship whilst being at university?
Definitely carving out quality time to spend with one another. It can be easy to get lost in the routine of working, especially in Easter term, but dedicating a couple of hours to watch a film, cooking together or going out for food keeps the love growing. Flowers and little acts of love work too!
Describe your time at uni together in three words.
Exciting, loving, and then either comfortable/trusting
Couple seven
How long have you been together?
One year and a bit.
How did you meet?
We were tied together at a drinking soc swap.
Where did you go on your first date?
The Pick.
Do you think there are any common misconceptions about dating in Cambridge?
I think in Cambridge it can often feel like you don’t have time for anything other than your degree (at least I often find that I don’t time to do everything I’d like), but it’s always felt quite easy to make time for each other. I think when you love someone and just want to spend time together it’s easier to make it work than it would seem. Also, many doubt that a Mathmo is capable of love, but I believe at least a few of us are.
What’s your favourite thing about your partner?
Hers: He makes me laugh a lot and I just really enjoy being around him.
His: I like lots of things about her! I can’t pick just one. She’s just cute and really fun to be around.
What’s the secret to maintaining a happy relationship whilst being at university?
Probably making time for each other and planning little dates that you can look forward to. If you’re not careful you might both get drowned in work and not see each other as much as you’d like.
Describe your time at uni together in three words.
Hers: Fun, exciting, happy.
His: Squeeze, expensive, happy.
Couple eight
How long have you been together?
A year and 2 months.
How did you meet?
She was the first person to knock on my door in freshers week. And then my best friend for half a year after a very competitive game of Dobble.
Where did you go on your first date?
Giggling Squid.
Do you think there are any common misconceptions about dating in Cambridge?
That the dating pool is too narrow, everyone knows everyone. I think the stereotype is that Cambridge men tend to be a bit arrogant and self-obsessed. I guess a lot of people think you can’t balance having a relationship and being an academic weapon so they don’t want to commit to anything.
What’s your favourite thing about your partner?
That’s a really tough question. Selfishly she makes me feel the best about myself that I ever have. I feel the most ‘myself’ when I’m with her.
What’s the secret to maintaining a happy relationship whilst being at university?
Actually having fun together and carving out time for that is a big one for me. I dont want to be cliche but I will be anyway; when things are a bit harder genuinely listening to each other and being willing to compromise and support each other when one of you is dealing with a lot of academic stress. Have a lot of inside jokes.
Describe your time at uni together in three words.
Walking, stars, exciting.
