They say that the ‘queue’ is a hallmark of British democracy and decency. I beg to differ: nothing makes me more impatient and irritable than a long queue. Therefore the fact that I was hardly made to wait for anything at Gonville and Caius May Ball was probably what made it the best may week event I’ve attended. Although this may seem like a fairly trivial aspect to dwell upon, it was something I really appreciated having waited an hour and a half in the line for crepes at Murray Edwards Garden Party (in the end it became more a test of endurance than me actually wanting to eat the crepe).

Virtually no queuing meant that guests were able to sample all of the event’s diverse offerings. This included the food and drink, which was of an incredibly high standard. My taste buds were in a constant state of confusion as I alternated between the ‘dime bar pie’ (a Caius favourite), Indian delicacies and falafel. Highlights included the stall devoted entirely to salmon, which proved a favourite amongst guests who forked it onto their plates from a platter which looked as though it contained an entire school of the fish. Less abundant were the drinks, which started to dry up in the early hours of the morning. In retrospect, this was probably no bad thing, given that most guests seemed suitably inebriated by the plentiful booze supply from the night’s initial stages. 

In comparison to some other college balls, Caius works with a fairly limited space, but this only worked to its advantage, enabling a certain intimacy that is often lost with larger scale events. The space felt full but not cluttered, this being largely owed to the creative team, who did an excellent job working with a mind-boggling theme.

The ents were very much in keeping with the theme, with the decision to forgo the more ubiquitous features of college balls in favor of some quite bizarre amusements really paying off. Rather than a helter skelter or bumper cars, there was the science tent, which provided the bemusing sight of mainly elder guests lying down gazing up at the light projections as though reminiscing on a past psychedelic experience. 

Musically, the ball left something to be desired. Duke Dumont was essentially paid to stand there as he churned out a hackneyed selection of chart dance tunes. Although the live acts in the main tent were great, after a while I did begin to feel as though I was at a wedding dancing with awkward relatives. In the end, I found myself spending a bit too much time dancing next to the banana split tent, where I’d been allowed to hijack the stall’s iPod.

Overall, Caius felt like the perfect place to host a party. The whole event was executed with much thought for detail, and some truly inventive features that made it feel unique from other balls I’ve attended. Stumbling out of the ball close to a food induced coma and regretting that last rice wine, I realized that there is something to be said for queuing: it encourages some restraint.