With a vat’s load of snot careering down each side of one’s septum, the prospect of reviewing some tribe-happy thespians ape their evening away is as appealing as dyspepsia. However, Quality Street in Pembroke’s New Cellars proved to be less of a chore than first envisioned. An open tin of the eponymous chocolates plumped glutton-lovingly on the ticket desk did not simply scratch some epicurean rash. Instead, this framed the entertainment as harmless indulgence rather than po-faced lunge at meaningfulness.

This was probably aided by the New Cellars’ set-up, a basement studio the cosiness of which enabled this small-scale production to appear merrily petit rather than simply crammed. If this had been presented in the ADC or Corpus Playroom it would have failed as a small-fry minnow suitably grilled by the fork-flamed quills of its reviewers.

The play, by the Peter Pan penning J.M Barrie, is a mock-up of Austen. Sisters Phoebe (Caitlin Doherty) and Susan (Anna Goodhart) entertain the ‘dashing’ Valentine Brown (Tom Ovens) in a set of repressed drawing room chats. The opening included some taught pieces of timing and focused staging, notably Susan’s tremulous claim that she fears her maid followed by said maid standing with her back to the audience, faceless.

Tom Ovens has a voice Radio Four would commit cold matricide for. A decrepit vox humane equipped with all necessary inflections and dips, sugaring melodies of antiquated genteelness. Ovens should enact the harebrained scheme of taping his tones to profit from the granddads nationwide who could learn from mimicking him.

There was nothing particularly edgy about the play, yet this was not a fault. Goodhart and Doherty provided some whimsy-tinkered verbal backgammon that was ‘pitch- perfect’ (to adopt a cold-induced buzz term). But the ‘pitch’ itself was so benign that any qualms about it being cripplingly twee seemed misplaced.

Blame Eleanor Herring, reader, for the lack of cloacal pedanty. Years of suffering ‘bonnet-fests’ and 19th century romcoms have taught this reviewer the benefits of appreciating light entertainment if presented as nothing more or less.