Freshers' can feel isolating for some, but it shouldn't define your university experienceFlickr: Yasser Alghofily

Freshers’ week may now seem like a distant memory, but the expectations which come with it every year are still in the air. The week is constantly sold as a fun-filled, alcohol-packed, carefree experience which practically gives you a social life as a welcome pack. Maybe for some people it works out that way. But the huge hype around freshers’ week and the immense pressure to live up to it sets students up for disappointment just as much as it does for a hangover.

Putting aside the fact the freshers’ week at Cambridge can actually be different from freshers’ at other universities, with students already starting to receive substantial amounts of work, something no one seems to tell you before freshers’ week, like some kind of inside joke, is how difficult constantly socialising with new people can be. It’s not that we should avoid these experiences: on the contrary, meeting new people and pushing our comfort zones is good for all of us. It’s just that trying to find the people you click with in a sea of strangers does not work out 100 per cent of the time.

No one prepares you for getting stuck talking to the guy who keeps going on about his rock collection, or when no one seems interested in what you are saying about your rock collection. No one warns you about how people will tell you exactly the same speech as they just said to the person behind you, or the fact that you begin to sound like a broken record yourself. No one tells you that, as well as those hallelujah moments when you do find people you get on with, you will have a lot of superficial awkward conversations with people who you will then only nod to during your remaining three years at college.

Some people really thrive on the atmosphere of freshers’ week, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But presenting this as the representational experience is far too optimistic, and not fully accurate. People going out and looking like they’re getting on is just the most visible of many experiences. You may have spent 15 minutes working up the courage to go back to the bar, or stay in the toilets longer than you need to because you’re not sure who you’re going to talk to when you come out, but these are all private moments. You don’t see the people who stay in and no one likes to admit that they don’t really feel that they’ve found their group of people yet.

Nevertheless, we need to admit the anxiety and social fatigue and worrying about not living up to the university dream that also happens in freshers’ week. It takes a while to form meaningful friendships with people. And sometimes you don’t find the people who you click with straight away. We need to recognise the gap between the huge social pressure to have the time of your life in freshers’ week and many students’ actual experiences. People should not have to feel worried because they didn’t get their university social life sorted out from scratch in one week. The hype of freshers’ may be good for Facebook and the university prospectus, but being more honest about the ups and downs of socialising will be far more helpful for students.