The 'unreality' of CambridgeFlickr: Kosala Bandara

I am a Cambridge alumnus, artist, designer, and openly trans person. My transition was from a female identity to a male one, and I went through it during my time at Cambridge. Even before I changed my name on deed-poll, an indicator of the support I was to receive from the university was when the faculty registered me immediately under my new name – at their own suggestion. I could not fault their approach. Cambridge was the first environment where I could have a conversation with a tutor in which gender was relevant, where I could mention being trans as normally as you would mention the weather.

With the help of Cambridge University and my friends, I had to negotiate my way through my own sense of identity and expression. I am sure that is common for everyone, whether they’re trans or not. For me it was about challenging stereotypical conceptions of ‘masculinity’ and ‘femininity, because at the beginning of coming out I felt I needed to conform to certain ideas of manliness in order to be ‘read’ correctly – but this compromised how I truly wanted to be. Many people, regardless of gender, don’t subscribe to stereotypes, and nor should they be expected to. I like having long hair, as many men do. As an artist and performer, I have also always been comfortable with using makeup (though usually to transform into some beast or animal). I became, with flowing locks and eyeliner, a Leonine pinup for a CUSU LGBT campaign as a transmasculine, genderqueer person. I felt it was important to lend a face to the community that had supported me, in order to encourage others.

Indeed, what I was not expecting when I arrived at the university was so many different outlets and people to reach out to. Outside work, the Cambridge University Light Entertainment Society (CULES) – with famous, inspiring alumni such as Douglas Adams – was escapist, inclusive, and gave me the freedom to rebuild my confidence with acting and performance. It also linked me to like-minded people in similar societies in universities across the country, making me feel part of something broader. I was also a BBC extra, and through this, I felt inspired to pursue a passion for acting that had been difficult to negotiate pre-transition. Another similar social space was RocSoc: a diverse group of people where anyone of any identity was welcome and safe to be themselves. In addition to quality music, there was frequently cake, and always humour and warmth.

I also took up a sport. Rowing combined fitness, the outdoors, and proving, despite everything, that I could do something that presented a challenge. The same rules applied to me as to everyone: you get the place if you are good enough. With committed training I achieved Blades with the college’s third men’s boat. I then coxed the female team (gender of a cox is irrelevant, as long as you can steer, coach and motivate) and won the senior Fairbairn Cup with the first boat. The place of trans people in sport is greatly debated, and I have personally seen a lot of unfair prejudice in the wider world, but, for me, sport remains a great thing to do to gain confidence and fitness. I would say to any trans person: don’t be discouraged, and do what you can, when you can. For good measure, I also joined the less-physically-demanding Tiddlywinks society. A sport of skill and dexterity (which often eluded me), I earned my ‘Quarter-Blue’ by beating Oxford. I figured if you are going to ‘do’ Cambridge, you might as well do it properly!

For Cambridge students, the lamp in the middle of Parker’s Piece is affectionately termed ‘The Reality Checkpoint’ – the divide between the Cambridge bubble and the world of the real. But, for me, I experienced and learned things that were far more ‘real’ about people and identity in the bubble than outside of it. Homerton was my college of choice for its environment and community: from the Porters to the Principal. The staff were kind, supportive, and you felt that they knew you and cared for you personally. Although I have since graduated, I returned not long ago and organised one of the regular town café meets for trans people along with their friends and family. I instantly found myself surrounded by a group of lovely people, old and new. There are worse places to come out as trans than Cambridge, and I do not think I would have come so far, so fast, without it.

Eddie was part of an interaction with The Cambridge Student reporting team and editors, organised through the project All about Trans, which involved positively changing how the media understands and portrays trans people. You can read about the day and outcomes written by Eddie here.